Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Goodbye's


How do you say goodbye?

So, how do you?  How do you say goodbye?  To your family?  To your friends?  To the cashier at the grocery store?

Ok, come at it from a different angle.  What if you knew the person you were saying goodbye to today, may not be there to say hello to tomorrow.

I am sure many of you have had someone in your life that you said goodbye to, only to have them taken away.  How did it feel knowing that you would never see their smile again, hear their voice, feel their warmth as they told you that they love you?  Were you okay with the way you last told them goodbye?  Or did you take for granted that you would see them again?  That you would be able to hold them in some other way than in your heart.

I got a phone call recently that shook me to the core.  When it started out, my Mother asked if I was alone, or if Kim was home with me.  When I told her that Kim was here, she said "I just wanted to make sure she was there for you, I have something to tell you."  When a call starts like that, you know the news is probably not good, and this case was no exception. 

So I got to thinking, and decided that I am going to try to be much better at saying goodbye to people.  Don't worry, I am not going to gush all over the teller at the bank, and I won't start hugging the guy that bags my groceries, but I will try my best to not take each goodbye for granted.  The only way I think this will really work is if I also try to make sure I spend the time in between the hello and goodbye in a manner that is also fitting.  I recently watched Phil Robertson (the Patriarch of the Duck Dynasty family) speak on a YouTube video.  And he said that he loved me, and I believed him.  No, he wasn't talking to me in person, but he was talking TO my person.  He had a simple message that we all seem to have forgotten, love thy neighbor.  He said if you love your neighbor, then you will start to love your community, then you start to love your town or city, your state, and on and on.  With that happening over and over there is no downside, only the opportunity for the world to be a better place.

Sorry, I got off track there a little bit.....  So back to the goodbye's and the phone call I got.  So My Mom said, "I need to let you know that the chemo is not working....  The Cancer is spreading and growing,,, and that the Doctor told her if there were things she wanted to do, she should probably go ahead and do them."

To say that this hit me hard is an understatement.  What is the deal?  What more does this woman have to endure?  As we talked, or tried to talk as both of us were crying so hard, I asked if the Doctor had given her a timeline.  She said no, and I brought up that commercial from the Cancer Center of America, where the woman asked for a second opinion and the Doctor tells her we don't have an expiration date on the bottom of our foot.  That was funny, because My Mom and Dad had already brought up that commercial and my Dad said her expiration date must have been
on her other foot, (from the leg that was amputated a few years back).

So one of the things that my Mom wanted to do was go see her Sister in Texas.  So they went.  And while they were down there I couldn't help but wonder how the visit was going.  How do you wrap all the things that you want to say to someone face to face in a couple of days, knowing that when you hug that person goodbye, it might be the last time you get that chance?  If you were in a situation like that would you be at peace knowing you treated that person with the love and respect that they deserved?  If the answer was no, how about you take some time to think about things, reevaluate, maybe forgive them, or offer forgiveness to them.  The world and your life would be a much better place if we all decided to do this...

Now,  if you will excuse me, I have to go say goodbye to my Mother...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Plaid Shirts!!! NO, Striped Shirts!!  You're wrong, NO YOU"RE WRONG!!
Man, where do I start?  It has been so long since I posted an entry I almost had to have a password reminder sent so I could log in.

Today's entry may ruffle a few feathers, but I am getting pretty irritated with a lot of what I am seeing lately.  These are troubling times for our Nation.  In many facets of life, there are trying circumstances.  From the economy, to gun control, to the verdict in high profile court cases, how to hard boil eggs, the list goes on and on.  The reason I am so upset is that events and topics are being treated as an excuse to pick sides.  There is little debate, research, or examination happening, people and groups are just quickly picking sides and being very vocal to the "other" side as to how stupid and wrong they are.  Another thing that is troubling is people "deciding" on what they believe based on who feels this way or that.  If the "flavor of the day" entertainer/athlete/newscaster/etc. says that wearing denim is bad because of one reason or another there is a group of people that formulate their opinion based solely on this.  Not taking the time to 1, decide if this is something they need to concern themselves with in the first place, or 2, agree or disagree based on the celebrity or athlete's opinion, and 3, almost "forcing" the people around them to be with them or against them is exhausting.  As the great Ron Burgundy once said, "agree to disagree", then just move on...


I can remember a time when people were willing to have their own ideals and beliefs, AND were able to stand next to their Friends and Family that may have had opposing opinions on the same topics.  I want to say the word was,,,,, wait,,,, I almost have it,,, dang it what is that word???  Hold on, almost there,,,  OH YEA,,, RESPECT!!!  I honestly feel we have lost the capability to respect one another.  If someone is passionate about something that is fine, so long as they understand that not every other person is going to share their opinion.  I see far too many times a topic come up, and if the person I am speaking to doesn't agree with me, they become almost combative, and their opinion of me completely changes, their body language changes too, they become fidgety, and they no longer want to listen to a word I have to say.  And when I say picking sides, they now consider me their "enemy", and lump me into a group and assume that I now agree with all that said "group" thinks.  That is unfair.  I don't do that to them.  Out of respect...  You do nothing for anyone when you childishly mock the other person and become so defensive as to SHOW your disrespect openly.

Take the example of gun control.  Now this is a biggie, and is at the forefront of society right now.  I have my ideas about it, and remarkably they don't line up with either pro or con.  This is the hard thing for others to grasp.  Surely I am either pro-gun or anti-gun.  You have to be, come on hurry, pick a side!!!  Guess what, I don't have to!  Now I know what you are going to say, oh well, just ignore it all, run away, put your head in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist.  That is not the case at all.  Like I said, I am not picking sides.  I think there could be some changes, but picking one or the other is something I don't feel I need to do.  One side says do nothing, the other side says do everything, and I am not comfortable with either.  That being said, I do not treat the people I know and love differently based on where they stand, all I ask is they extend the same courtesy.

Other touchy ones are abortion, homosexuality, religions, dying your hair, gage-ing your ears, race relations, the way the toilet paper goes on the roll, the list goes on and on.  My stance is this, if I have no outward opinion about being pro-choice, or pro-life, it doesn't mean I am anti-abortion or pro-abortion, it means I feel it's none of my business.  If there is a person somewhere struggling with a decision, I really have no right to go stand in their face and tell them to do this or that.  I am not the person to judge them.  I find it kind of troubling that people point out what is or isn't allowed based on say, their religion.  Have faith, and understand that people will be judged by their God or Higher Power when that day comes.  Be happy in your life that you are making decisions to live your life in a way that supports your faith and morals, but understand that that other person is doing the same.  Rather than pointing out that they are different than you, realize that they are the same...

We are quickly turning into a land divided, and rather than trying to come to a point where we embrace our neighbor and work to make things better, we expend our energy in such a negative way trying to belittle those that dare to think differently.  It seems that the way people attempt to make themselves feel better, or feel relevant, is to tear others down.  That is just sad...

I guess what I am trying to get to is this.  How about we get back to respecting each other again.  Trying to treat everyone the way we want to be treated.  Sure things may still suck, but they will suck less knowing we are all together, not alone..  If you can go to bed at night knowing you did your part to make life as good for yourself and others, good on you.  But if you lie there at night realizing that you were mean to others, and decide it's because they aren't exactly like you, understand that only one person can change that.....

Peace,

Woody