I now know my limitations...

Hello Followers!

I am just checking in, wanted to let you know I came to another realization in my life, I no longer feel I can play for the Denver Broncos.

I know, it's sad but true.  There was a time after the last snap I participated in in college, that I felt I could run with the big boys.  I know it was probably not realistic, and filled with false bravado, but I honestly thought I could hang, and wanted to be there blocking for the legend John Elway.  Then a few more years passed, and I was confident I could still contribute.  Until Sunday, I held onto to the dream that I could be the go-to long snapper.  I wouldn't have to do much, just make sure the Field Goal holder and the Punter got the ball quickly and with accuracy.  I would gladly do it for the league minimum.

So what changed?  Well, I realized when returning to my seat after going potty and getting a large order of Supreme Nachos and a Coke.  There I was walking up the stairs to my seat.  On the fist level, seriously, like 20 steps, and I was out of breath, and my knee and back hurt so bad I was seeing stars.  I realized that I wouldn't  survive the jog from the huddle to the line of scrimmage.

Oh well, maybe I can be a DH for the Rockies if they ever go to AL rules.....  Oh wait, I sucked at Baseball.

Peace,

Woody

Wishes

I shared a story on my Facebook wall yesterday, if any of you saw it, I am sorry for the duplication here.  For those of you that did not see it, it was about a couple in Iowa that had been married for 72 years.  They were in a car accident, and were both placed in ICU, together.  The gentleman died holding the hand of the one he loved more than anything in the world.  With their family surrounding them, they noticed that although he had stopped breathing, his heart rate monitor was still registering a heartbeat.  The medical staff said it was the wife’s heartbeat pulsing through her husband’s body.  One hour after the man died, she crossed over to be with him.  The story said they continued to hold hands through the funeral service.

This story touched me at many different levels, to my core.  I am blessed to have a partner that I want to live the rest of my life with, and can’t be without.  After reading the story I was reminded of the movie “The Notebook”.  If you haven’t seen the movie, the closing scene is one which the husband curls up in his wife’s bed in the nursing home, and both of them pass away in their sleep holding one another.

Kim and I have only been married for a little over a year, but we have had many discussions about what we want the end of our lives to be like, and given the choice, we would like to cross over to heaven together.  Although that would seem tragic and would create quite a loss for our family, it is the ending we would prefer.

I look at my parents, and as cruel and heartless as it may sound, I would ask God to take both of them at the same time.  I hope when my Mother reads this she understands what I mean.  They have been together over 50 years, and it is plain to see how much they love and care for one another.  I worry about either one of them being without the other.  I would like them both to know I would be okay while they waited for me in Heaven.

I wish everyone could feel the way I do about Kim, the way my parents feel about each other.  The way Elsa felt about Nick, Mary about Bob, the list goes on and on.  The world would be a much better place.

So if our kids ask, Kim and I want to go together, donate our bodies to science, when they are done poking and prodding, cremate us, mix our ashes together, and sprinkle them on the beach at Chatfield where we were married.  Keep track of everything that day, if it is windy, raining, snowing whatever.  Remember how the day smells, yes, how it smells.  If it is the smell of a crisp winter day or the smell of the leaves in fall, remember it…..  That way, in the years that follow, when you are outside and the wind blows the leaves around and your nose catches that aroma, you will know it is us letting you know we got where we were going and want to say hello.

Just Checking In

Dear Followers,

I know that I haven't posted in a long time.  Sorry, I promise to post more in the future.

I was going to leave it at that, but thought I should write a bit more.  Not sure why I haven't posted in so long, it isn't that I have been super busy or anything,  just haven't had much to share.

As far as good anecdotes, my life seems to be full of them, and I will continue to document them as I see fit....  It could be the loss of another loved one has kept me from being here, it is hard to be humorous when you lose someone, I never want to half-ass it you know. 

Maybe the reason I haven't posted is it is football season and I have been watching the Broncos half-ass it.  Yea that could be it....

Just know I am still here, and will try to post more frequently in the future..

Peace,
Woody

Heroes

Welcome back followers and others who stumble upon this blog.  Today I would like to talk about heroes.


Of course, when talking about heroes, a man has to point to his father.  My Dad is one of my hero's hands down.  He is always the voice of reason, even when his voice is less than reasonable.  He is a man who has shown me the way from as long as I was mobile.  His work ethic was, and continues to be, at a level I will never achieve.  He worked for the same company for 42 years, took maybe 1 or 2 sick days in that time, completed many a project on the weekend, and still had time to mix in a little R&R on the way.  But as far as heroes, it is the way he has taken care of my Mom that lifts him above all others in my eyes.  As I discussed in a previous entry, my Mom has cancer.  The way she has fought that makes her another one of my heroes, but that is for another time, as I am focusing on Dad this time around.  In addition, Mom lost a leg a while back.  Not really lost, we know where it went, but I digress.  So there he is, facing challenges head on, had the house accessible by the time Mom came home from the hospital, and he waits on her hand and foot.  (notice I didn't say feet?  see what I did there?)  If you are offended by my amputation humor, sorry, it is a coping skill I use, and as long as my Mom understands that, you can too.  Thanks Dad for all you do, I love you more than you know, and you are my hero.

My Son's are my heroes.  It is okay to have heroes that are younger than you, especially as you get older and the age pool below you gets larger. My son's have grown into great men, I love them and respect them more than they will know until they have children.  And I am not just saying this so they put me in a good home when that time comes.

My Wife is my hero.  Kim is an incredible best friend, and she is an amazing mother to boot.  She makes me realize how unappreciated being a Mom can be.  I hope My Mom reads this and understands that I see now that children never express the gratitude a Mother deserves.  Again I could talk about Kim forever...

Next on the hero list are those that serve.  Military, Police, Fire, Doctors, Nurses, and TEACHERS!!!!!  Not enough can be said about these groups, and at different times of my life I wanted to serve, teach, protect and serve, and heal those in need.  Unsung is a word that is used over and over, and it just doesn't seem to be enough, thank all that served in these professions, and those that continue to do so.

I have had many sports heroes.  John Elway, Bo Jackson, Keith Bishop, Gary Zimmerman, Howie Long to name a few football guys.  I would like to meet any of them, but I bet I wouldn't know how to act around them.

Entertainment heroes is a big list.  One of the reasons I chose this topic was after reading an interview with Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Reubens from Comic-Con 2011.  He said he has had people come to him and say he is the reason they perform.  PeeWee was a ground breaker, a funny show, full of physical humor and implied jokes.  I liked it.  Another one was Fred Rogers.  I remember that Mr. Rogers Neighborhood was my favorite show when I was a little guy.  I once decided I wanted to watch his show later on in the day, so I turned the TV off.  This is how I learned that when you turn the TV back on 3 hours later it isn't showing what it was when you turned it off.  Guess I should have invented TIVO way back in the 70's huh?
Musically, I have too many to list:  Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Kid Rock, Edwin McCain is up there, Darius Rucker and the rest of Hootie and the Blowfish, Mark Bryan, Dean Felber, and Jim "Soni" Sonefeld too.  But locally, and someone I would really like to meet is Todd Park Mohr from Big Head Todd and the Monsters.  Todd is such a gifted musician and singer, but you can tell how much he cares about his art when you listen to the songs he writes.  AMAZING!!  Again, I would love to meet any of them.

Actors are another bunch, and I have some that probably wouldn't make other peoples lists.  Like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson.  The list is long and probably like others so I won't bore you.

So what makes a hero?  I think the quickest definition would be someone that by their influence encourage you to be a better person.

Thank You, to all my heroes.

Peace,
Woody

Parents and Children

Okay, here's the deal.

I like to think that I am a good parent.  I try to do all the things I can to be a Dad that my kids like being around.  Sure I complain that the only time I hear from my son's is when they need something like gas money or food, but we all know that isn't entirely true.
Corey lives with us now, and it has been great, I really enjoy having him there, and actually I wish he was actually around more, he is busy with school, work, and GTL (minus the tanning, and I haven't really witnessed him do any laundry yet).  The time that he is around is awesome, I hope he feels the same way.
I still miss Joey like crazy, he is just about done with baseball, and college for that matter, he student teaches this fall, which on a tangent, why do I have to pay a college for 12 credit hours while my son is nowhere near the campus, teaching at a high school?  I would think DCSD should pay him for teaching, and the college would not get anymore of my cash, but I digress.
Keara still really pays attention when she needs help with something like the computer, which is funny, because her lack of patience, and my apparent slowness when it comes to fixing whatever she feels is broken, usually leads to her developing her own workaround.
So back to me being a Dad, I want the kids to look up to me as a parent and learn from all the things I have done, be them good or bad, and reflect on those lessons when I am lucky enough to be a Grandparent.  I want my parents to know that I learned from them in this way, and there are many times when I ask myself "How would Mom handle this?", or "What would Dad do?", and then do the opposite....  HA HA, just kidding Mom and Dad, you did a great job, and you are still on the clock, so keep it up.

Now, let's flip the coin, I hope that I have done all that I could do to be a good kid.  Yes I said kid, I refuse to grow up.  This shows in many, MANY ways.  I am and will always be a kid at heart.  Logic states things like, you shouldn't wear shorts in the winter, but if you look closely, there is some nut-bag standing outside in the snow, barbequeing in shorts and a hoody.  Yea, that's me.  Don't blame yourself Mom or Dad, I came up with that all by myself.

We look ready for a Curly from the 3 Stooges Look alike contest.

I guess the best lesson I have learned and wish to share with anyone who cares to listen, is to love deeply and consistently.  There is plenty of room to be a parent, (i.e. bad guy), when it comes to making someone clean their room, (Yea I know Mom, my room was always a mess and Karma is paying me back!  I get it), but parent with love and understanding.  This is something I can illustrate through the love I have for my Mom.  Quite a while ago, she was diagnosed with cancer.  Through everything she has been great.  I am somewhat of a sounding board for her, and listen to what she has to say on bad and good days, she does the same for me.  My point is, this was in place long before any diagnosis, treatment, remission, etc.  I remember one time my Mom saying something to the effect of  "Everyone is making such a fuss over me now", and I told her, not me, I have fussed over her for as long as I could fuss.  I am proud to say that I love the people in my life the same every day, not just when something good or bad happens. Living and loving this way leads to having a reduced amout of regret down the road.  Not that I live life regret free, cause that surely is not the case, but I have learned that I can control some of those things and do my best to show that as a kid, and a parent.

So I will take the opportunity to say Happy Mothers Day to My Mom Charlene, My amazing Wife Kim, Elsa, Mary, and my ex-wife Laurie who gave me a reason to celebrate Fathers Day.

Which leads me to the fact that around Mother's day the ad's from the store are as thick as a Christmas catalog filled with jewelry, clothes, flowers, etc., and at Fathers day it like a flyer with stupid ties, t-shirts, and BBQ tools. 

Just Sayin.

Peace,
Woody

Gettin Old

I realized, finally, that I am getting old.  No, it wasn't the fact that I have thinning hair (thanks for pointing that out at Easter dinner Mom), or that I have trouble walking up and down stairs, or even that I have a child about to graduate from college.  No, what finally provided the proof was something as simple as an office chair.

I was at work late last week, and was working at a bench that is just a tad higher than a desk.  We have some stools that are okay to sit in, but I was longing for a chair that had arms, and that I could lean my old, weary body back into.  I grabbed an extra chair from the conference room and sat down.  It was set too high to give me the level of comfort I so desperately longed for, so I used the release on the side to lower it.

Now comes the old part.  The feeling I got in the pit of my stomach, was like when I was a kid, and my Dad drove us to my Aunt and Uncles house.  We drove on County Line Road, because they were building C-470 across a new suburb named Highlands Ranch.  I know, another indicator of being old.  Who else remembers watching the C-470 highway being built?

Anyway, my Dad would drive just fast enough, that when we would crest the many steep hills that used to be County Line Road (they flattened out all the good ones), I would "lose my stomach".  Not sure if you know the feeling I am talking about, but it was awesome when I was a kid.  I experienced it on that drive, and riding the Twister at Elitches, or the Cyclone at Lakeside.  So hopefully you get it now.

Yea,  I felt that LOWERING AN OFFICE CHAIR!!!!!

I am old.

Peace,
Woody

Sleep and Dreams

Okay, here's the deal, I have recurring dreams from time to time, and I have been having this one lately:

I am either back in high school, or back in college, both of which I finished, so I don't know why I am "back".  Anywho, I am faced with the fact that I know I haven't been keeping up with my homework, and actually I don't even know what or where my classes are.  I can't determine the level of knowledge I am trying to gain because it seems like they are college classes, but I am headed to the administration office of my high school.  Where it used to be, the office next to the auditorium, on the Newark Street side, those of you from ACHS back in the day will understand.

So off to the admin office I go, when I somehow wander down the hall, which if I remember correctly has a ramp down, passes by the counselors office, the nurses office, and ends up near the band and choir rooms.  Yes I know where the band room was, I was not only the captain of the football team, but also lettered in band!

Anyway, I just wander around the school until I eventually wake up.  Some night I hope I sleep long enough to make it to a class to see if I actually BS my way through not being prepared for class.

Not sure what this dream means, but I have had it a few times......

Peace,
Woody

Back Again

Not really our boxes..

Hello everyone, I am back yet again from another blogging hiatus.  Since last we spoke, Kim and I closed on our first owned home together, and moved all of the stuff from our apartment to the house.  What a long couple of weeks it was.  In between work, Joeys baseball, and all the other parts of life, we managed to get almost everything moved by ourselves. 

Joey Pitching

The only things we needed help with were 2 dressers, a couch, a loveseat, and an old 65 inch rear projection TV that weighs more than the earth itself.  I think we actually slowed the rotation of the earth as Mike drove his truck with the TV in the bed.

Now comes the fun parts, unpacking everything, and cleaning the apartment to get our deposit back.  Now I am sure some of you may have stories of trying to get your deposit back, the stories that include me go like this:  "This _____ is _____  therefore we are deducting $___.__ from your deposit."  Repeat until there is no deposit left.  This time needs to be different, and Kim is ready for a fight.

I will let you know how it goes.

The other thing that will I am sure be fodder for this blog, is that Corey is moving in with us.  We are very excited to have him there, I really miss having him around, but he has been used to living by himself for a while, and 12 year old, only-child, Keara is about to share a Jack-and-Jill bathroom with Corey.  This along with the fact that they share a similar level of stubborn-ism should make for some amusing anecdotes.

Well, I will try to post more often when thing slow down, I know how the 3 followers I have wait with baited breath for my next post.  Until then........

Peace,
Woody

I'm Still Here!

Ready for Cave Tubing in Belize!

Hello loyal readers, it is I, back again, after quite a bit of time off.  Lets see, what have I been up to?  Well, my lovely wife Kimberly and I bought a house, no big deal, just you know, a HOUSE!

Oh and we went on a once in a lifetime Caribbean vacation with her family, THAT was fun, the only thing missing was my sons.

I started a new job, doing the same thing, just at a different yet-to-be-assigned desk.

So that is what I have been up to, more on the house at a later time, we don't own it yet, so I don't want to jinx anything, so let me tell you a story about my trip.

Who would have thought the most nerve-racking part of the entire trip would be one of the most memorable.  We planned a couple excursions on the cruise we took, one of which was a pleasant relaxing day in Roatan, Honduras at an amazing beach.  The description of which was that we would be bussed over to a beach, have our own designated lounge chairs, have shopping and snorkel equipment available, and then, when we were ready to return to the ship, there would be shuttles running every 30 minutes.  Sounds good right, nice and relaxing.....

Some of the fish we swam with

So it started as advertised, we took a nice bus ride over to an amazing beach.  Rented some gear, hit the water, and had the most amazing snorkeling I have ever experienced.  We saw thousands of fish as we swam along a barrier reef.  I was in awe of the beauty of the world beneath the water, it was breathtaking.

We returned to the beach, and I found my lounge chair in the shade, and got my relax on.  We had our own security guy, watching all our stuff, and making sure that the vendors left us alone if we didn't want to buy their wares.  One "vendor" was offering a boat trip for the group to go snorkel with dolphins, he even guaranteed that we would see dolphins, or we didn't have to pay him.  He said the trip would last about an hour, we had close to 2, so 6 people from our group headed out.

I made sure my lounge chair wasn't moving anywhere, there was a live band playing cover tunes in the distance, the women all went to visit the shops, and I drifted off to sleep, it was great.....

Huge Starfish, looks like Patrick!

Suddenly I woke to an announcement over the PA system saying "Attention, the final shuttle will be leaving in 15 minutes".  I decided it was a good time to pick up, joint the group, and head back to the ship.  One problem, the 6 people that left were nowhere to be found.

Panic immediately set in, and made itself as comfortable as I was in my chair.  The girls were there, and we stood wondering where the adventurers were.  Meanwhile, they were calling for the final passengers.  We were screwed in my opinion.  They held the shuttles as long as they could, but the time came that they had to let them go.  Still no sign of the group, and I was freaking out.  We had let the ones with all their stuff go back to the ship on the last shuttle.  We figured if we needed to get a cab it might be cheaper.

Just when I was about to hyperventilate, my wife told me that there was one more shuttle that was used to get the employees back to town, and that they would hold that one for us.  I was able to breathe a little as we waited, and waited, and waited.  Then the man who seemed to be in charge said "I'm sorry, but we have to leave in 10 minutes", queue my troubled breathing...

Somehow, the dolphin boat made it back, our group was literally running back, we piled on the employee bus and were on our way.

Now I am not saying we were breaking the law speed wise on our way back, because I never saw a speed limit sign, but the guy was driving the bus like he stole it.  We "slowed down" 3 or 4 times to let employees off so they could get home or to their other jobs, and I mean slowed down, not stopped.

Just when I was feeling better about our chances, we completely stopped.  There was an accident, and the barely 2 lane road was jammed, horns honking, people standing around.  No one outside our bus knew the urgency of the situation, and I couldn't breathe again.  Just then a guy jumped off our bus, ran up to the police car that just showed up, yelled at him, and made him get out of OUR way, he then stopped traffic and got our bus around the mess, and my breathing back on track, a little.

So we finally made it to the port, and we all flew off the bus and started hustling to the ship.  Now I am relaxing a little, but that would be short lived.  We had to walk through the Duty-Free shops to get to the ship, and wouldn't you know it, Kim and Keara decided that it was a great time to stop and shop!  My Brother-in-law and Niece decided they needed ice cream, and I decided that they were all NUTS!

I stood there for a second, and told my lovely wife Kim, that I would meet them in the room.  Yes I left my family there so I could board the ship!  I was hoping that my great display of urgency would wear off on others and they would follow suit, but they just let me go, they had things to shop for, ice cream to eat.  I just went back to my room, curled up shaking in the fetal position, and cried like a baby, it's what I do!

So there it is, much more dramatic than I can express in words, probably not as dramatic as I made it out to be, and very memorable.  Overall, much better than getting robbed in Jamaica!

Well, I better go pack, got a house to move into!  Woo-Hoo!

Peace,

Woody

Happy Valentines Day

Okay, here's the deal.  I am not going to pretend that there isn't a part of me that thinks, like many others, that Valentines Day was "invented" by the candy and greeting card companies.  It has always wreeked of this, and I am not saying that my views have completely changed.  What I am saying is that I look at what the day stands for and am glad that I have the partner I do.

I love my wife more than I ever thought possible, and if she truly understood how much that was, her head might explode.

And since I love Kim so much, I wish I could stand on the top of a mountain and yell to everyone at the top of my lungs, but then I realized no one would hear me.  But, if I blog about it, I can actually reach every continent when I say "I LOVE YOU KIM!!!"

You just experienced the first ever virtual mountain top yelling EVER!  Aren't you glad?

So why do I love Kim so much?  If I had to sum it up, it's because of not only that she loves me back, but the way that she loves me.  Every day she makes me feel special, like I am the only one, and she truly means it.  I know this because when I look in the mirror, I see a completely different person than she does.  Kim sees me from the inside first, and the rest is just icing.  I know this because I love Kim from the inside out too.  She makes it a LOT easier, because her outside is much more beautiful than mine.

Happy Valentines Day Kim,,,  I LOVE YOU

Peace,
Woody

February is a Good Month

Hey there guys and gals, It's me again, dropping some words of knowledge and such from the depths of my ever churning brain.

February is a month that I will always hold as special, it is the birth month for both my sons.  Corey turned 20, and  Joey is celebrated his 22nd birthday.  Wow, I am old.  Corey's birthday was Super Bowl Sunday, and they couldn't even sing the National Anthem right for him, what a bummer.

My wife is very cool, while we were sitting around Sunday, she paused the TV, (I know, why did she have the remote, right?), and said, "Tell me about the day Corey was born."  Se she wants to know as much as she can about the boys, because she knows how much I love them.  I guess it is a way of finding out more about what I may have been like half a life ago, and at the same time her attempt to get to know the boys better.

So I told her what I could remember from 20 years ago, the few details my cobweb of a mind could recall.  Like the fact that as they were giving my ex-wife an epidural, I watched until I saw brown fluid come out of her spine, and the nurse had to sit me down before I fell and crushed someone. (Always have to make it about me I guess), or how they had to put Corey in an oxygen tent thing.  He was so peaceful and quiet, what a great kid he was, and still is today.

Then she reminded me that since Corey was now 20, I have no teenagers, vis a vis I am old.  I am sure glad she had the remote, and asked me to reflect.  I have 2 amazing sons that make me proud every day.  I love you guys more than you can understand.

Peace,
Woody

I Have Been Neglecting My Blog.....

Sorry folks, hopefully my lack of writing hasn't slowed your lives to a crawl as you sit patiently by your computer screens looking for my next post.

Why Won't Woody Write Witty Words?

I would love to say that I haven't had time to write because I have been so busy at the gym, or that I developed a new Sys Admin tool that fixes computers all by itself so I don't have to, or that I was off exploring the far reaches of the planet on vacation (soon enough, going on a sure-to-be-pleasure-filled cruise in just a matter of weeks!!), but alas, none of that has kept me from blogging.

Life sometimes gets in the way of other things.  It is tax time, the truck broke down again, looking at making some changes for the better, you know life.

So while life gets in the way of my blog, think about the song I wrote and sang to my lovely wife last night while we watched American Idol, which I would win if there wasn't that darn age requirement keeping me from doing so.

Ahem, AHEM  <---- me clearing my throat.

Got an itchy nose, and I want to scratch it!
Got an itchy nose, and I need to scratch it!
Got an itchy nose, and I have to scratch it!
Hope I don't touch a booger while I'm there!

(I borrowed the tune and styling from the song "Kitty" by The Presidents of The United States of America)

I know, amazing, I should probably copyright these lyrics soon before they show up in a Lady GaGa song.

Peace,
Woody

Dreams

I had another weird dream last night.  I say another, because I seem to have freaky weird dreams all the time.  This one was vivid, and I think the reason I remember it so well is because it involves something from my childhood.

I grew up in Aurora, Colorado, in an area called Hoffman Heights.  We had a burger joint called Burger Chef.  I loved this place, it was awesome, and on rare occasions I got to eat there.  My memories of this place are very distant and foggy, but I remember I loved it.

Burger Chef was in a strip mall, next to a Winchell's Donuts, and across from a Woolco, and an old Woolworths store.  There was a Taco place around the corner that I think was named Taco Johns, but it wasn't associated with the Taco John's chain of today.  All the previously mentioned places are gone now, which reminds me how old I am.




 

Anywho, my dream was funky, because the surroundings kept changing, like they do in dreams, but there was one constant.  The Burger Chef from my childhood had a little shop, and I was so happy.  I remember in my dream that it was closed, but they had drawers with hamburgers and fries that you could take.  I remember buying a bunch, and I couldn't wait to find my friend Mike.  See Mike is from the Cleveland.Ohio area, and he is one of the few people I have found that remembers the Burger Chef chain.  So I found him in my dream, and we sat and ate Burger Chef, then I woke up, and I was disappointed, like when you dream you won the lottery, and then wake to empty pockets.



I love how the mind works, I can tell you that I haven't spoken of, nor heard about Burger Chef in many years.  I like how childhood memories sneak back into the present.  Sometimes it is a smell that takes you to a specific time and place, sometimes it's a song.  But dreams are even cooler, because there is no way to direct the dream one way or another.  The thoughts and events happen all on their own.  This is a great feeling, and lends itself to conscious thoughts and memories when you are awake.

Like remembering the sweet blue and white striped shorts I got at Woolco, how the girls resisted be is beyond comprehension......

 All this, and I didn't even eat Taco Bell before I went to bed.

Peace,
Woody

I'm Back

Hello there,

It's me again, just thought I would drop by and post another entry for my faithful followers.  Hope everyone's 2011 is going good.  I chose to say the year as Two-Thousand-Eleven.  No Twenty-Eleven here, just my personal feeling.

Which brings me to another thing, how do you say the word for the little sheets of paper you clip from the Sunday paper to save 40 cents on Charmin or a buck off Little Juan Frozen Burritos?
This is a point of contention in my house, because my wife says the word coupon as (que-pon), I say it as (coo-pon).  Now I am sure there are "rules" and all, like a bossy vowel or consanant making another letter sound wierd, why cant they all just get along and be themselves?

This is always a fun topic in a crowd because the pronunciation is split, and I can usually sway a few people over to the right side, oops, I mean MY side by asking them what you call an older woman who likes to date young men.  You sure don't call her a "que-grr" now do you?

Thoughts?

Peace,
Woody

Head Nods

Random Mall Crowd

I have a theory, and I want to share it with you.  This is information I have gathered over the course of my lifetime, and I want you to seriously ponder it.  What I am about to tell you is completely based on the male species, and I am not convinced it is unique to humans.

My observation is this, men have a silent greeting that involves a head nod.  If you are somewhere in a crowd, you will notice men nodding to each other in what I classify as 1 of 2 ways based on if they know each other or not.

I really screwed up, because I could have no doubt received a multimillion dollar grant from the government to research and divulge this info..... Oh well my loss.

The first head nod is for males that do not know one another.  The motion is downward, and the silent message is simply hello.  Eyes meet, and the downward nod is instituted saying "hello there sir, pass and go in peace".  This is usually a quick nod as neither male wants to give the subversive message that the other one is the alpha-male.  *IMPORTANT NOTE* Please do not confuse this action with the dangerous movement I will call the "Bad Guy Nod".  You have seen this in a lot of movies the likes of Jason Bourne, and on TV shows like 24.  The "Bad Guy Nod" is a much more deliberate and slow movement between 2 individuals that are up to no good.  They will not lose eye contact during the slow nod, and usually 1 of the men is in a stationary position.  This nod conveys the message "Alpha-Plan X is in effect, do not abort".


The second nod is for guys who know each other, either quite well, or even just casually.  This movement is a quick nod upward, and there is no loss of eye contact.  This is much more casual, and can lead to a conversation, or a simple "Hey, hows it going", but vocalization is not a requirement.  One variation to this can be seen in bars, coffee shops, etc., where a customer is trying to get the attention of the bartender or clerk.  This is one of the few times an upward head nod is used between people who do not know each other.  The upward nod is a good indicator when you are out that you have met this person before in some capacity.

An errant upward head nod will leave the receiving male obsessing "Where do I know that guy from", it is yet another way to drive someone crazy.  They will sit bolt upright in bed at 3 in the morning saying "I know, I saw him at the gym", then realize they don't belong to a gym, and keep them from sleeping the rest of the night.  I would say try it on your friends, but they know you so the parts of the equation don't work.  You can, however, as you are passing an acquaintance, give him the "Non-Bad-Guy" downward nod, and leave him wondering, "Man did I do something to make Harvey mad?  He acted like he didn't even recognize me".

Just ways to mess with people and keep them guessing.

Try it out next time you are at the mall, you know when you are hanging out waiting for your significant other to get out of Bath and Body Works or Sports Authority respectively.  You can observer 2 males pass and say, hey those guys know each other, or quickly determine they had never seen each other before.  Just be leery of the "Bad-Guy-Nod", especially if one of them is stationary, nothing good could come of that.  Although, if you are standing still waiting for someone and downward nod,,,,,,,,  I'm just sayin'.

Peace,
Woody

New Dodge - RAM Tough!

Okay, here's the deal, I know that the knowledge I am about to drop on you isn't new, but apparently it still is a foreign concept to some people.  A 4 wheel drive vehicle, is not, I repeat NOT, a 4 wheel STOP vehicle.


It snowed here most of yesterday, overnight, and was snowing for the commute to work this morning.  This meant the roads were icy and snow-packed.  you can't see the lines to determine what lane you are in, so if there is more than 2 you do the best you can.  You follow,(Unless it spins out and goes in the ditch), the vehicle in front of you from a safe distance. Usually you can see ruts in the snow-packed road to help guide you.  It is recommended you leave yourself a little extra time, as the posted speed limit is not attainable in these treacherous conditions. 

So there I was, just going with the flow when it happened!  I saw the next great thing from the auto industry, the Dodge Ram 1500 / any speed in any conditions pickup truck!  This truck must be awesome, because it can apparently go 75 MPH in conditions that my poor little CR-V (and all the other vehicles on the road) can't.  It was also equipped with headlights that flashed from high-beam off and on, and off and on as it approached vehicles that were apparently in it's way.  This is handy, so you can get out of this special trucks way and admire the new technology that lets it glide through any hazzard, carrying the driver to their destination without a worry.

But seriously, what goes through the mind of someone that drives like that?  It is very easy to go fast in icy, snowy conditions, but stopping is a another matter.  Slow down folks.

I gave the guy the thumb of Karma, something I created that is a little less offensive as the 1 finger salute, and let him go by me, secretly hoping he would fishtail, slide around, miss all the other cars and end up in the ditch.  I didn't wish for the driver to injure himself, but if he soiled himself that would be just fine.







Be safe people.

Peace,
Woody

Hear Me Now, But Belieeeeve Me Latuh!!!!

Who remembers the SNL skit Hanz and Franz?  Well, I am back at it.  For those of you that have known me for a while, you know that I am a bit large for my size.  "I swallow a lot of aggression,  along with a lot of pizzas, ha ha PIZZAS!!" (I miss John Candy).  I have yo-yo'ed quite a bit over the last decade or so, did a pretty good job last year until my honeymoon (damn those cruise ship buffet lines!), but since then gained about half what I lost back.  So with the new year comes a new resolve to get back to the gym.  It's not a "new" resolution, as I have been a regular in the gym for quite a while, it is the regularity that slowed down.  I am guilty of using any excuse not to go to the gym, "I need to go to the bank", "I have to run this errand", "It's Tuesday", you get the idea.

Me Close to my Heaviest , at Corey's Graduation.

I always look for encouragement, and this time I found a blog named "www.bendoeslife.com" that has been interesting to read.  I recommend you take a look, his journey has been intense and inspirational.  So I will periodically be giving you all (again, my 2 followers) updates, as Ben says going public makes you more accountable.  Now Ben is a runner, not me, I only run if someone is chasing me, so I have been the guy on the stationary bike or elliptical.  I feel bad for the machines, they didn't do anything, and then this behemoth jumps on and starts going crazy.  The girl that takes care of the gym here at work comes out and oils the machines when I am using them, I think oil is futile, the machines aren't squeaking, they are SCREAMING!!

High School Senior 1986

High School Football

I was in shape in high school, got a football scholarship, we had a healthy (meaning large and calorie filled) training table to eat from.  I hurt my knee that first year, and that was it for my playing days, but I kept eating like I was still playing.  That has always been my downfall.  I am addicted to food, I really like it, and what sucks is unlike addictions to other substances such as alcohol or drugs, food is a necessity.  I try hard to control what I eat, and that is the struggle, but I will figure it out.  Don't get me wrong, I am still in shape, it's just the shape of a pear!  I am out to bury the stereotype, I was the jock, football capitan, that is now the fat guy, but I can change that.  I will keep you posted.

On My Bike, Thinner times around 2004.

Me Christmas 2010, going for the Homeless look.

So if you have words of encouragement, I will take them, I need all the help I can get.

Peace,
Woody

"You are MEAN"

Wow, 2011 already?  So it starts, how long will it take me to actually write 2011, instead of writing 2010 and crossing it out?  Only time will tell, hopefully it wont take long.

I hope all my followers (all 2 of you), had a great holiday season, I did, with the exception of a bout of the stomach flu, yuck!

Spent some time with family, exchanging gifts and what not.  It was great, especially the gift "Santa" brought my Mom.  See coming up on 2 years ago, my Mom, bless her heart, went into the hospital for a routine check of why her foot hurt.  Long story short, her leg was amputated.  Now this would clobber other people, but Mom took it in stride (pun intended), and hasn't slowed down yet.
So imagine her surprise (she wasn't) when she opened a package that contained the above bobble-head of the Leg Lamp from "A Christmas Story".
See my family is a little weird, (quite possibly the understatement of the year 3 days in), and have used kidding and laughter to combat a great deal of my Mom losing her leg.  For example, my Dad wants her to go apply at IHOP (ba-dum-bump), and I suggested we call her Char-leans, instead of Charlene....... (chirp, chirp)

I guess the lesson in all of this is if you are faced with challenges, face them back and let them know who's boss.  My Mom is a shining example of this, and it is another reason why she is one of my heroes.

By the way, she used her new gift as the centerpiece of the table, not sure who got it for her,,,,  but if you need to know where you can pick up various leg lamp items, I can help you out.  I heard that the cashier where this item was purchased said "This is cute", then when told the story, laughed very hard, caught herself and scolded me, I mean the person who bought it, and said "You are MEAN"!

I am so MEAN I hope my Mom knows how much I love her..  Happy 2011

Peace,
Woody