Head Nods

Random Mall Crowd

I have a theory, and I want to share it with you.  This is information I have gathered over the course of my lifetime, and I want you to seriously ponder it.  What I am about to tell you is completely based on the male species, and I am not convinced it is unique to humans.

My observation is this, men have a silent greeting that involves a head nod.  If you are somewhere in a crowd, you will notice men nodding to each other in what I classify as 1 of 2 ways based on if they know each other or not.

I really screwed up, because I could have no doubt received a multimillion dollar grant from the government to research and divulge this info..... Oh well my loss.

The first head nod is for males that do not know one another.  The motion is downward, and the silent message is simply hello.  Eyes meet, and the downward nod is instituted saying "hello there sir, pass and go in peace".  This is usually a quick nod as neither male wants to give the subversive message that the other one is the alpha-male.  *IMPORTANT NOTE* Please do not confuse this action with the dangerous movement I will call the "Bad Guy Nod".  You have seen this in a lot of movies the likes of Jason Bourne, and on TV shows like 24.  The "Bad Guy Nod" is a much more deliberate and slow movement between 2 individuals that are up to no good.  They will not lose eye contact during the slow nod, and usually 1 of the men is in a stationary position.  This nod conveys the message "Alpha-Plan X is in effect, do not abort".


The second nod is for guys who know each other, either quite well, or even just casually.  This movement is a quick nod upward, and there is no loss of eye contact.  This is much more casual, and can lead to a conversation, or a simple "Hey, hows it going", but vocalization is not a requirement.  One variation to this can be seen in bars, coffee shops, etc., where a customer is trying to get the attention of the bartender or clerk.  This is one of the few times an upward head nod is used between people who do not know each other.  The upward nod is a good indicator when you are out that you have met this person before in some capacity.

An errant upward head nod will leave the receiving male obsessing "Where do I know that guy from", it is yet another way to drive someone crazy.  They will sit bolt upright in bed at 3 in the morning saying "I know, I saw him at the gym", then realize they don't belong to a gym, and keep them from sleeping the rest of the night.  I would say try it on your friends, but they know you so the parts of the equation don't work.  You can, however, as you are passing an acquaintance, give him the "Non-Bad-Guy" downward nod, and leave him wondering, "Man did I do something to make Harvey mad?  He acted like he didn't even recognize me".

Just ways to mess with people and keep them guessing.

Try it out next time you are at the mall, you know when you are hanging out waiting for your significant other to get out of Bath and Body Works or Sports Authority respectively.  You can observer 2 males pass and say, hey those guys know each other, or quickly determine they had never seen each other before.  Just be leery of the "Bad-Guy-Nod", especially if one of them is stationary, nothing good could come of that.  Although, if you are standing still waiting for someone and downward nod,,,,,,,,  I'm just sayin'.

Peace,
Woody